Violeta Sakovic – the New Yorker fairy
~ Milica Puric ~
When she came to New York a few years ago from Ivanjica, a small Serbian town, teacher Violeta Sakovic could not imagine that her life would soon change from the root. Optimistic and open by nature, Violeta has started sharing her experience of a new life via social networking, talking to people, spreading her beliefs about a positive approach to life, and filming videos for her YouTube channel. Every day more and more people watched her videos, and she gained more and more friends who wanted to talk to her, seeking her advice and attention. She encouraged, motivated and taught them how to have an optimistic approach to life. That is why her friends gave her the name “Fairy.” Today she is a motivational speaker with thousands of people who follow her on all leading social networks. People are inspired by her life story, by the fact that she came to America alone, with $50 in her pocket, that she had worked as an au pair (babysitter) with a diploma of the teacher and that such a start did not discourage or break her, but motivated and empowered her. She says about that:
Violeta Sakovic is speaking at Credit Susse company (March, 2017)
Violeta Sakovic: Growing up in a small place in Serbia, I was, like the most of the people of my generation, taught to follow a traditional way of living — education, work, marriage and family, just in that order — with expectations to excel in each of them, while being the most modest of all. I will take liberty to say that we were pretty much shaped by universal laws of environment, tradition, society, religion and the same “old school” disciplinary parenting. In that setting, there was no effort or time for investing in our self-worth, potentials, talents and a unique personality, needs and wishes we all have had. With an upbringing like this, I felt empty, blind and helpless to build or look for my own happiness, imprisoned in my own inner dissatisfaction… I felt pressured to accept numerous norms of expected behavior without ever being asked would I like them, or need them, and were they really necessary. I have always had a feeling that I can change that solid base of the harsh life I was taught to live. I was striving to find my talents, build my self-worth and find my own happiness. I will always respect my tradition, as it is a big part of me, but my soul needed challenges, satisfaction, something new, fresh and different.
Urban Culture Tribe: Like many well-educated immigrants who came to live in America you worked as a babysitter, even though you are a teacher. Did that bother you?
‘I follow my heart, my dreams, and my desires!’
Violeta Sakovic: After I had finished my college, I focused on the second order of my predetermined life. I was actively looking for a job, but I could not find any. Instead of sitting and feeling sorry for myself, I took the second best option: the opportunity to work, study and explore the whole new world in the U.S.A. as an au pair. That is when it all clicked and I realized that only I am acting upon my own life! I decided to follow my heart, my dreams and my desires in my own timing.
I came here and a new chapter of my life started. I knew that my life depended solely on me. I was not ashamed to work as a babysitter here despite my teaching degree. I did not mind changing diapers all day despite the fact I am not a mother. I was not afraid to depend on only $50 in my pocket because I believed that my power was not in the amount of money I had had, but in everything else I had to offer: my skills, talents, knowledge, hard work and desire to learn and give my best. l invested all my energy in completely believing in myself!
Urban Culture Tribe: You made a video about coming to the U.S. with those $50 in your pocket. How did you survive with such so little money?
Rafting in Poconis: Violeta Sakovic (far right) with friends Marta and Sanja in Poconos, 2016
Violeta Sakovic: I had to come to the U.S. to realize what potential I have. Coming here with only $50 in my pocket is just an example that not having any money should not stop you from trying. It for sure did not stop me. Instead of blaming others for not having what I thought I was entitled to, I took the action and responsibility for my own life. For me, coming here as an au pair was an entrance and a step to self-actualization. By being here alone I did not have anybody to rely on, to count on for any kind of help or to blame for missed opportunities. It is here where I learned that I can build the life I had always wanted only by following and depending on my intuition and a strong belief in myself. Thanks to all that, I perceived how worthy and powerful I am. I deeply believe and know that every person who struggles with life’s insecurities can achieve the same, and I am hoping that with my motivational speeches I will help others to realize their own power. I also believed that people needed to hear my life story to learn how to never give up, lose the faith or settle for less than desired. The number of people who follow me on social media proves that my decision to share my beliefs was right.
Urban Culture Tribe: What was your first impression about America and New York? Have you been scared? Excited?
‘I thought I knew about the life here from the movies, but movies are fiction…’
Violeta Sakovic: America and New York were unknown to me. I thought I knew about the life in New York from movies, but we all know that movies are mostly fiction and aesthetics. When I decided to come to America I honestly did not have any big expectations of the city or the country. I had only expectations of myself. The Universe worked that the moment I made the decision to change my life opportunities in New York opened. It could have easily been any other destination in the world. My first impression was that everything here was so big — cars, buildings, roads, stoves, refrigerators to name a few. None of that was making me uncomfortable, but rather excited and challenged. There were so many new things to learn, acquire and to prove myself that I can. There really was not any reason to feel scared. Scared of what? Disappointment? Lost expectations? Bad luck? I was not scared, but a bit confused in the beginning because my thoughts were still in Serbia while my body was here. That disappeared as soon as I learned how to live in the present moment. Flexible and adaptable as I am, I quickly found joy in a job I was not educated for. If you take things in life as only temporary, you can enjoy them more.
(from the right) Violeta, Zoe, the little girl she takes care of, and Victoria, Zoe’s mom
Besides, I loved to learn how to be a mother to a little individual who was nothing like me, a complete stranger. I was amazed by the amount of protection, love, and patience I had discovered within me, working with this little girl every day. It was an interesting achievement of my life. The American way of upbringing the children stunned me — I learned that the best present and a mark you can leave in a child’s life is your unfailing support! That is the most valuable lesson I have ever learned. All that experiences are my way of accommodating in the present situations. If my life had not been a satisfaction here, I have my home where I can always come back.
Urban Culture Tribe: You say very often that you believe in the Law of attraction. What made you believe in that? How did you discover it?
‘I took the opportunity to work, study and explore the whole new world in the U.S.A.’
Violeta Sakovic: As soon as I learned about Nikola Tesla and his understanding of the universe, energy, and frequency in my physics class, I got interested in learning about all of the kinds of attractions there might be. Years later I applied his teachings to an observation of the people around me. I wondered what are the differences in lives of content and noncontent people, and I concluded that their ways of thinking and visions of life are completely opposite. If you constantly complain and feel miserable, life will give you more reasons for complaining. If you feel content, life gives you more reasons for gratitude. Your glow is your allure.
In my case, I recognized that my subconscious was using the Law of attraction as ideas for actions. One of the examples is finding the program for an au pair job in the U.S.A. after I could not find a job in Serbia. I understood that somewhere deep, deep inside me I always wanted to come and live here. More and more I understand that this destination was calling me, as I achieved so much here and found my inspiration, energy and self-actualization at this place. I did not choose it, it attracted me. I want to say that the Law of Attraction is not simply a meditation with a repeating mantra for some wishes you beg the universe for. It is primarily awareness of the thoughts, words, actions and feelings. These create all attractions, even if subconscious. The Law by itself is nothing to be believed or not to be believed in. It is energy, like gravity — it is there and it works all the time.
Sunday Service with Margaret (who is 103) in Unity Centar New York, 2016
Urban Culture Tribe: You recorded and published many motivational videos on YouTube and in them, you call yourself “Good Fairy.” How did you come up with that name and what do you talk about in those videos?
Violeta Sakovic: The name of my YouTube channel is “Good Fairy.” The idea came after numerous people who contacted me and shared their thoughts, problems and uncertainties with me told me that I was like a good fairy who always listens and helps them. Fairy is a symbol of this unselfish personality of mine, which would always find the time and way to help others. Through my videos, I am trying to motivate people to use their thoughts to free themselves of the pressure and shackles of others people’s expectations, judgments, critics. I try to encourage them to search deep inside them for their real desires and happiness and use their mind and feelings to act in order to acquire them, to see the optimism and the beauty of living and being, to fall in love with themselves, and most of all to believe in themselves and only themselves. I shared the extraordinary inspirational examples of people’s lives which showed and proved that everything is possible, that we are all interacted with each other and that we all pretty much have the same or similar life’s insecurities, but each of us faces them in a different way. I am trying to keep my listeners’ focus on a nicer, “sunnier” side of every situation and teach them to find an inspiration in every experience. We need to focus on creating our feelings because we attract how we feel.
Enjoying the nice weather by the ocean
Urban Culture Tribe: Who are your numerous followers on YouTube? How old are they? Are they mostly men or women? Where are they from?
Violeta Sakovic: The population who follows me is very diverse. For almost every topic I talk about, I get responses from both men and women. We all get through harsh times in our life sometimes, and I believe that everyone can find some helpful inspiration in my writings, debates, teachings. That’s why I would not gender-characterize them. Also, since my YouTube videos are in my native language, Serbian, most of the people who follow me are the ones who understand that language. I also do focus on problems and subjects I was familiar with while I lived at home. However, the years of living on this continent made me study and understand the American way of thinking, so soon my projects will be available in English too.
Urban Culture Tribe: People share with you their hopes, wishes, fears, struggles… Can you tell us what are their generally biggest fears, what are they afraid of? How do you console and encourage them?
Violeta Sakovic: I think that most of us are not even aware of our own insecurities. As I said earlier about my youth in Serbia, lack of self-confidence in people I communicate with on a daily basis, and my own, started with fears. From an early age, we tend to use fear and blackmail to scare children, and that continues throughout our school years. If you did poorly at school, parents would often get mad and raise their voice, threaten or even physically beat you up as you “broke” their expectations. Teachers can embarrass children in front of the whole class. Every person older than you had a right to bully you, to criticize the way you look and to openly make fun of you. The sense of shame, feeling worthless and powerless was easily developing inside us. As parents themselves used the same methods, there was nobody for consolation with empathy, understanding or an aim to protect us. None of that was our fault, and injustice hurts even more. It is hard to overcome that perception, and we tend to create even more insecurities within our own thoughts. This strong impact made us all think that we are never good enough.
With new friends at ‘Abraham’ seminar in Washington
There was no opportunity to create self-confidence, and therefore we see every problem as unsolvable and with enormous fears of consequences (even if consequences are only positive). Lack of believing in ourselves is surprising. There is simply a fear to get out of our own problems. In some situations, it is not even fear that stops people from acting for their own good or for the good of their children, but the belief that they are incapable of taking simple steps for, for example, improving their health (both mental and physical). It seems that being content and working on improving life is the biggest sin and crime committed. Lethargy is another problem I can often notice in people who contact me. Even with all my help, motivation, tools to change their mental being and negative feelings, many of them still expect somebody else to do their own work.
I try to give people my support, understanding, confidence, and trust so they can tell me all they want without a fear that I will ever judge them (as many of them do not have a support and understanding from their closest family and friends). I help them to realize their own strength, power, worthiness, love, and happiness that they deserve. I help them to realize that have a right to love and enjoy life, to fall in love with themselves and accept themselves as they just are. Every person I met through my channel is an amazing, brave and remarkable individual. I really hope they will realize that themselves!
‘Lack of believing in ourselves is surprising. There is simply a fear to get out of our own problems,’ Violeta Sakovic
Urban Culture Tribe: Not everyone thinks that your philosophy is true and positive. There are people who are unfriendly towards your motivational messages. How do you respond to them?
Violeta Sakovic: My page is public and I prepared myself for negative comments. The lesson I learned and intended to teach to others is that negative opinions do not have an impact on my life or my work and cannot stop me in my positive intentions. I have understanding for people who judge and criticize me because I am aware that not many people are ready to take responsibilities for their actions. It helps me to learn more about them while at the same time I learn a lot about me. I am glad I provoke negative reactions from the audience as well, as this is a proof that they are not completely indifferent to their life. I actually appreciate the negative comments as much as the positive. However, I respect constructive debates much more and always look forward to such. We can all learn from each other.
Cheers for the life
Urban Culture Tribe: I heard that you are writing a book. What will you write about?
Violeta Sakovic: I will leave that for the reader to find out. I can say now that there will be some of the helping tools that will show us how to make our life better.